February 5

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears,” say the Zen Buddhists. Or, as an Al-Anon speaker put it, “We each get here right on time.” To me, this is an important reason to have a public relations policy based on attraction rather than promotion, as the Eleventh Tradition suggests.

My own arrival in Al-Anon was right on schedule. I first heard about the program when I was a teenager; I attended my first meeting twenty years later. I don’t regret that lapse of time because  I don’t think I would have been ready to come to Al-Anon any sooner – I spent those twenty years resenting any implication from well-meaning family members that I had been affected by alcoholism. Only after years of living with the effects of the disease did I really become ready to get help. No amount of nagging would have hurried me along any faster.

Today’s Reminder

There is no magic wand that can make others ready for Al-Anon. And it’s presumptuous to assume that I have a better idea of their true path than they do. Let me help those who want help. When my life improves as a result of working the program myself, I do more to carry the message than I ever could by forcing it on others.

“Let me not dilute the effectiveness of the help I can give by letting it take the form of giving advice. I know I will never have enough insight into another’s life to tell that person what is best to do.”

The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage